RANT WARNING! This message contains generalizations and mild stereotyping, but applies 100% to selfish husbands and living-turds-formerly-known-as-husbands:
Grow up. If I hear one more guy talk about how he jumped the family ship or made bad decisions based on whatever perceived ‘need’ they had for their personal happiness, I’m going to scream. Grow the hell up. This is the scarcely more than the tantrum of a selfish child that hasn’t grown up yet. Instead of worrying about what you need to be happy, spend your time trying to make others (read: your wife and kids) happy and your own happiness will follow.
“Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” – Robert Heinlein
Don’t believe me? Try it. Try putting someone who cares about you first on your priority list and watch yourself change. Watch purpose, wonder, compassion, and faith grow in you. When those things grow, you grow as well. You grow into the man you were before you came to this rock and forgot everything. As you’re growing into that man, you’ll realize how important you are for the kids you once hugged as they went to bed at night and who love nothing more than to wrestle with their dad. You’ll understand that their path to become the best versions of themselves will be easier when the most important man in their life has figured out what matters most. William Burroughs says it more eloquently than me: “When you stop growing you start dying.”
Of course, you can always continue being a selfish turd and learn the lesson at some point in your life when it’s too late to fix it.
And for all the ladies who love or have loved someone like that, please accept an apology on behalf of the turds who care about more than just themselves in this life. I’m sorry for those of you who know what I’m talking about. I’m sorry for your hurt, sorry for the trust you lost, and I’m sorry for the man who’s going to wake up some day and realize what he gave up.
Hang in there. Every sunset is followed by a beautiful sunrise.