He Even Loves Fat Guys Over 40

When we turn 40, society tells us we need to get regular checkups in order to prevent mysterious ailments and growths from sneaking up on us. Because I’m not a fan of these kinds of things sneaking up on me, I scheduled my regular doctor’s visit to fight the disease ninja’s evil plans.  

After the usual weight-and-height part of the visit, the conversation with the nurse went something like this:

Me (joking): So did I get taller?

Nurse (not even smiling): Nope.

Me (stepping on to the scale): Great! How about my weight?

Nurse: [Results have been omitted to protect the author’s pride]

Me (joking): So am I getting fatter?

Nurse (still not smiling): Yes, you are.

Ouch. No sympathy, no reassuring comments that it happens to everybody, nothing. Just her affirmation that I’m becoming more…well-rounded (I think that should have been my line to the nurse, but I just thought of it as I was writing this). I laughed off the comment and went home to find some solace in a snack cake from my friend Little Debbie.

When I woke up the next day and remembered the heartless comment from Cruella deNurse, I wasn’t laughing about it. Her stinging words may have been innocent, but the verbal dagger now stung with the ferocity of a thousand angry bloodhounds on the trail of an innocent 40-year-old fox. The sting turned to irritation, which turned to anger, and then-

For the next part of this tale, it’s important to know something about our family. Throughout the house, we have scriptures placed so anybody can open them up and read a verse or two wherever they are. This can help with random inspirational insights, small feel-good moments, or sometimes it’s good to know that somebody in the ancient world was rending their coat over something grievous going on. Wherever you are in our house, there’s always a chance God will be able to send you something you need to know right then.

That’s great, Bryun, but why share this in the middle of a story about a sweet 40+-year-old fat guy being harassed in a doctor’s office? Sit tight, good reader, and you’ll understand…

So there I was, getting upset as I went through my morning routine replaying the callousness of the Wicked Nurse of the West from the day before. Walking into the bathroom, I cracked open one of the aforementioned books and I randomly opened to Isaiah 10:16. 

For anybody reading this (myself included) who isn’t a scriptorian, this verse starts off as follows:

“Therefore shall the Lord, the Lord of Hosts, send among his fat ones, leanness…”

And sitting alone, in the early morning hours, I laughed out loud. Here was an insignificant Idaho boy, stressing about a harmless comment made by a person he barely knew, and the creator of the universe was able to send a message saying He was aware of that child and what was happening in his life. It was a nice reminder that some things just don’t matter enough to get worked up over, and this was one of those things 

And, most importantly, I knew at that moment that God cared about me…including those extra four pounds.